My child got into a fight with his/her friend! How should I handle it?


Once children enter school, they are required to communicate within groups as well as individually. Children who are not yet used to communicating with others may get into fights with their friends. However, having fights is an opportunity for children to learn the best way to interact with their friends. In this article, we will give suggestions on how parents should act when their child gets into a fight with a friend.

子どもが友だちとケンカをしてしまった! 親はどう対処したらいい?

Is it OK for parents to get involved?

Since parents and teachers can be affected when children fight with one another, many parents try to prevent their child from getting into fights. Of course children need to avoid having fights that cause injury and/or trouble. However, small fights (disagreements) are important experiences for children.
When children have a fight with their friends, they learn that it makes them sad and can be painful. These feelings encourage them to think for themselves how they can better communicate their feelings and create good relationships with their friends. As a result, parents should not get involved right away but instead let their children handle it on their own and support when needed.

Encourage your child to think for him/herself

Start by asking your child how he/she feels after the fight. It is important that parents avoid saying bad things about the other child or criticizing their child. Instead, parents should standby their child and help them understand that fighting makes people sad. Then they should ask their child about the details of the fight and help them figure out why it happened. It is important to encourage their child to think about what they wanted to do, what they should have done and how they made their friend feel. Having this discussion with your child will help them better understand the situation and their feelings.

There are many causes of fighting among children

Children sometimes hit and kick a friend because they don’t like what they did or leave them out of the group if they hide something from them. Fights also take place when children are jealous of each other or their ideas are not take seriously. Children learn how to make-up with their friends in group environments. Many times they become friends again easily after exchanging apologies. It is important for parents to understand that it is often the closest friends that fight the most.

Children learn how to communicate effectively at school and other group environments. It is important that children become used to group environments as early as possible. Participating in early learning classes before entering daycare or kindergarten is a great way to help children learn how to interact with their peers. Early learning classes that are held in English are even more effective because they encourage children to communicate with each other while exposing young children to English. Listening to a native speaker of English from a young age will give your child a head start to their English learning. Please check out the early learning classes in your area as soon as possible.