What should parents do if their child’s shyness persists and they have difficulty adjusting to daycare? How long does shyness last in infants and toddlers?
Shyness often appears as children’s minds grow and they begin to be able to distinguish between their family and others. Even though parents know that it is a part of the regular growth process, some parents worry when their child has difficulty adjusting to life at daycare or preschool. In this article, we will explain how long shyness lasts and how parents can help their shy child adjust to life at daycare or preschool
How long does shyness last?
The timing of the onset of shyness varies from person to person, but generally it begins around 6 months to 1 year of age and lasts until 2 to 3 years of age. For some children, shyness begins as early as 4 months of age and for others it begins suddenly after the age of 2 or 3 years. Please keep in mind that the timing your child experiences shyness and the cause of their shyness will depend on their personality and environment.
What are the causes of shyness?
For babies between 4-6 months old, shyness is caused by a discomfort with “unusual” things such as a new smell, a different voice or even a different way of being held. When things are different, they are more likely to not accept people other than their mom or dad.
Shyness seen between 7 months and 1.5 years of age is caused by a feeling of anxiety. Children are anxious about meeting new people for the first time, so they seek out their mom and dad who make them feel safe and secure. Shyness is strongest at this age but it subsides when they feel safe with others.
Shyness seen between 1.5 and 3 years of age is caused by separation anxiety. Although children at this age are becoming more interested in the world around them, they often feel anxious about being away from their parents.
How to handle your child’s shyness
It is often easier for shy children to open up to someone with whom their mom or dad are talking to in a friendly manner. This is especially true for shy children older than 7 months old when a child is anxious but also very interested in his or her surroundings. By eliminating your child’s emotional anxiety at their pace you will be able to eliminate the shyness as well. It may take some time, but it is important for parents to stay close and be patient until their child is able to feel less anxious.
To help your child eliminate his or her shyness, it is important to help them realize that they can feel comfortable with people who are not their mom or dad. If possible, it is a good idea to increase the number of interactions they have with people other than family from a young age. This will help familiarize themselves with people other than their parents so they can experience firsthand that they do not need mom or dad to feel safe. It is also helpful to familiarize them with children the same age by encouraging them to participate in infant/toddler classes, daycare activities and even outdoor activities.
