The difference between being self-assertive and selfish

So, what is the difference between self-assertiveness and selfishness?
Being self-assertive is sharing your thoughts and ideas with others. Being selfish, is forcing your thoughts and ideas on others even if they do not like them or want to do them.
Parents should listen to what their child has to say carefully and when they feel their child is being selfish it is important that they explain why so that their child understands.
This will help their child understand the difference between being self-assertive and selfish.

When your child is acting selfish, it is an opportunity to help them expand their thinking skills

Most people have seen children whining in the store when they want their parents to buy them a candy or toy.
When this happens, parents often want to scold their child for being selfish. However, it is a great opportunity for parents to expand their child’s thinking skills. Instead of just saying “no” to your child, try asking them “what can you do to encourage me to buy it for you?”.
This will encourage your child to think of the possible ways to get you to buy the item for them.
If they want you to buy them a toy, they will think about waiting until their next birthday or Christmas or try doing lots of chores at home so they can earn it.
When you think that your child is acting selfish instead of rejecting it try talking with them.
In time, they will start to think for themselves and tell you without waiting for you to ask.

How to handle your child’s selfishness

If you scold your child, when they are selfish, they will be discouraged to think for themselves.
We have listed some better ways to handle your child’s selfishness below for your reference.

Advise them

Instead of telling them they have to do something, parents should try advising them to do what they think is right.
For example, when your child is playing at the park instead of saying “we are going home now”, you can say “it is getting dark so I think it is a good idea to go home now.”

Make suggestions

Instead of commanding them to do something, try suggesting that they do it.
When they leave over all their vegetables, parents should try suggesting that they try just one.

Ask them

When you want your child to do something, try asking them nicely and they will most likely do what they are told.
It is often effective to say things like “if you put all the toys back in the toy box, mom will be really happy”. It is sometimes hard to differentiate between a child’s selfishness and their self-assertiveness. However, it is the job of parents to listen to their children and encourage them to think for themselves. To succeed as adults, it is important for children to learn how to be self-assertive and state their opinions and ideas. Attending classes with children their age, will help your young child gain self-assertiveness.
At these classes, he/she will learn how to work as a group as well as learn the importance of having one’s own opinions while understanding the opinions of others. Learning how to make friends and play together will encourage them to stop being selfish. Please try attending kids’ classes with your child today.

Fun Snow Activities for Children #1 Small Snowman

The standard snow activity is making a snowman.
We will explain how to make a small snowman the size of their hands. First, make 2 balls of snow that can be easily held in your child’s hands.
Then find some sticks or nuts to stick into the snowball to form the face and arms.
Once they get used to making a snowman, children can try making a larger one with their mom or dad. If the top and bottom are not balanced then the snowman will break so be careful to put the larger snowball on the bottom (a 4 to 3 ratio is a good start).
Also, snow that is full of ice or has just fallen is harder to make into a nice ball so be careful.

Fun Snow Activities for Children #2 Playing with Paint

In this activity, children use paint to make colored water and paint in the snow.
Melt the paint in a small cup and use a paint brush to draw in the snow. Using paint on a snowman will make it colorful.
The colored snow will look like shaved ice so make sure younger children do not put it in their mouths. If you are concerned you can use paint that is edible.
Also make sure that children are wearing clothing, coats, etc. that can get dirty.

Fun Snow Activities for Children #3 Searching for Treasures

In this activity, children search for “treasures” that have been hidden in the snow.
When children are playing indoors, mom or dad can rope off the search area and hide “treasures” in the snow.
It is important to use “treasures” that can get wet (so no paper).
Also, breakable items should not be used because someone may step on them by accident.
Call all the children together when all the items have been hidden and begin the treasure hunt.
If it is snowing outside, the items will be hidden in more snow quickly so please limit the play time.

Cautions to Take When Children Play in the Snow

In a new environment, children are often unaware of the dangers around them and are more likely to get hurt. We have listed some cautions parents should take to avoid accidents and injury.

Find a safe place to play

When playing in the snow it is important to make sure that the area is safe first. Parents should make sure there are no sharp items or gutters under the snow. Parents should be particularly careful when playing with their children in a park or location they do not usually go to. Also check to make sure that there is no danger of falling snow or ice.

Continue to monitor your child’s health

Children who are enjoying playing often ignore their body’s signs. Parents should make sure to check their child on a frequent basis. Children often sweat a lot during snow play so parents should be careful about dehydration.

Pay attention to the weather

Parents should continue to check the weather report carefully and bring their children home if there is a strong storm coming. There is always a danger of a sudden snowstorm. We introduced some fun snow activities to try with your child. There are so many fun ideas to try that children and parents alike will enjoy snowy days. But it is important to keep an eye on your child and look out for hidden dangers. We hope you can enjoy some or all of these activities this winter.

Children’s Valentine’s Day Recipe #1 Chocolate covered Marshmallows

A simple lollipop made with marshmallows and chocolate.

Ingredients（For 15 lollipops）
Marshmallows　 15 marshmallows
Milk chocolate　 50 grams
Chocolate Pen　 As many as needed
Sprinkles and Chocolate Spray As much as needed
Straws 15 straws

1. Break the chocolate in small pieces and melt it over hot water.
2. Put the marshmallows on straws and dip into the melted chocolate.
3. Take off the extra chocolate with a rubber spatula.
4. Decorate with chocolate spray and sprinkles.
5. Leave standing until the chocolate hardens.
6. Wrap when the chocolate has hardened.

Tips:
When using a chocolate pen to decorate, make sure to wait until the chocolate has hardened.

Children’s Valentine’s Day Recipe #2 Cup Chocolates

Ingredients
Baking chocolate 400 grams
Sprinkles, Chocolate Spray, etc. As much as needed
Aluminum cups 20 cups（3cm circumference）

1. Put the chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl and melt in the microwave without plastic wrap.
The heating time will depend on the amount of chocolate and the microwave being used so please keep your eye on it.
2. Once the chocolate is melted, pour it into the cups.
3. Decorate with chocolate spray, sprinkles and other decorations.
4. Chill in the refrigerator until the chocolate has hardened completely.
5. Finally, remove from the aluminum cups and wrap.

Tips:
Mixing the chocolate will help make it smooth and creamy.
Once you transfer the chocolate into the cups make sure to tap the cups on the counter or table to remove any bubbles.

Children’s Valentine’s Day Recipe #3 Easy Crunch Chocolates

Crispy crunch chocolates.

Ingredients
Milk chocolate bars 6 bars
Hard biscuits　 150～180 grams

1. Break the chocolate into small pieces and melt over hot water.
2. Put the hard biscuits in a plastic bag and crush into small pieces.
3. Put the crushed biscuits into the melted chocolate a little at a time.
4. Place a cooking sheet on a cutting board and pour on the chocolate and biscuit combination created in step 3.
5. Leave at room temperature for 2-3 hours until hardened and cut into pieces.
6. Put into the refrigerator to completely hardened.
7. Wrap.

Tips:
Be careful that the biscuits are spread evenly and covered completely in chocolate.

We introduced 3 recipes with easy to find ingredients.
The directions are easy enough for younger children to follow. The wrapping and decorations can often be found at the 100 Yen shop so children can choose by themselves.

The negative language that adults tend to use too much

Many parents end up using negative language when scolding their child.
Some parents use phrases like “you can’t do ……” or “why can’t you ……”.
And when children act out in public many parents say things like “I won’t take you here anymore”, “I am going to leave you here”, “I hate kids that do things like that”.

Using negative language when scolding is NG!

As a parent, we scold our child because we want them to learn how to act appropriately.
However, no one feels good when they are bombarded with negative language. Most adults have experienced being called negative things by others and were damaged internally. Children feel the same way.

Being bombarded with negative language on a daily basis causes people to feel bad about themselves and feel that whatever they do is not good enough.
This causes us to lose self-confidence and feel negatively about ourselves. So, let’s be careful about us using too much negative language in our speech.

Tips for not using negative language when scolding

When you feel like you have something negative to say, take a step back and a deep breath.
Then think about how you can make your thoughts more positive it will help you cool down.
For example, you can change “don’t do that” to “let’s do this instead”.
You can change “don’t speak so loudly” to “let’s use a quiet voice”.
If you want to say “you need to clean-up”, you can instead say “let’s clean-up” or “have you finished cleaning up?”.
Using these phrases instead will have a positive effect on your child.
It is also a good idea to praise your child with phrases like “good job” or “I like …. who is good at ….”.

In our busy lives where we do not have the extra time to think about what we say; many parents end up using negative language to scold their child.
However, using this type of language on a regular basis can really hurt your child. When scolding your child, please try to avoid using negative language and protect their feelings about themselves.

Attending mommy and me and drop-off classes is also an effective way to improve your child’s self-confidence and feelings about him/herself.
When they are able to perform a task during the class, they feel good about themselves and it is also a good opportunity to receive praise from their parents.

When do most mothers stop breastfeeding?

There is no clear answer but instead many moms consider how long it is acceptable to breastfeed if their child asks for it.
During the 90’s, the “Mom & Child Handbook” from the government suggested to stop breastfeeding between the age of 1 year and 1 and a half years old. However, from 2002, there was no mention of when to stop breastfeeding and instead a suggestion to wait until the best timing for the mom and child. In Japan, 90% of moms breastfeed until their child is 2 years old. However, according to a UNICEF survey of countries (including less developed nations) on average moms stop breastfeeding when their child is 4.2 years old. Also, WHO (World Health Organization) states that there is no problem with continuing breastfeeding until you can stop naturally.

How can you tell when your child is ready to stop breastfeeding?

It is a good idea to check for signs from your child when you think it may be time to stop breastfeeding.
In general, when children can walk on their own and drink liquids from a sippy cup, they may be ready to stop breastfeeding.
It is also important that you do not stop until your child eats 3 meals a day and can get all their required nutrients from food.
It is also a good idea to wait until your child can understand what you say if possible.
Some children react when their mom asks them “do you want to stop or say goodbye to breastfeeding?”. Some children are OK with quitting and others want to continue when asked this question.

Some points to take into consideration when trying to stop naturally

Parents want to explain about stopping breastfeeding to their children so that they can understand.
It is suggested that parents decide on the date (time) ahead of time and mark it on the calendar.
Once the date is decided, the mom should take 1-2 months to slowly decrease breastfeeding times and play with their child outside during the day.
If these tips do not work it is a good idea to keep on breastfeeding until you can stop naturally.

There are no rules for stopping breastfeeding. Many children lose interest in breastfeeding when they are able to do more things on their own and become more interested in other activities.

We suggest that you help to increase your child’s interests by attending mommy and me classes.
These classes will help support your child’s development and have a good impact on their growth.